Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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