The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
