Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
