Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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