I'm jealous of your bromance
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This baby is an asshole
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
