I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
