I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
