I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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