Jerry, you need to find god
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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