the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize