dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
