somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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