You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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