can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just want nice things and good sex
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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