Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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