Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it was like having sex with a tree stump
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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