I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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