Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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