why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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