I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
