I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
