If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize