i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
