; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
