I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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