Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just had sex on a roof
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
