what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
