And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
