the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
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