Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
