so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
