Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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