so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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