I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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