what day is it and did you see me today?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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