Why are handjobs necessary in class?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
