your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
