i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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