it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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