you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
