Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
