Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
