At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
