The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
