their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
