oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
