god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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