he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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