Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
