I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
