My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
