this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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