nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize