Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
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