so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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