i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I know her cup size but not her name....
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