What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
