Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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