4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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