dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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