he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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