i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
