im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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