Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
