For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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